Comments for Do Your Kids Accuse You Of Ruining Their Social Lives? at http://www.galtime.com , comment 1 to 255 out of 20 comments http://www.galtime.com Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:53:47 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.3 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3408 [quote]Before we moved, we had tons of kids over all the time. He would have all night video game parties or swim parties. I love having lots of kids around and he always seemed to have such a good time with everyone. His teachers tell me he is very popular with the other kids. The friends I have met at school tell me he quits talking as soon as I show up but that normally he is very fun. I know he spends a lot of time texting and on his facebook page, but mostly he plays video games at home. He is a good kid and makes good grades and helps me out around the house when I need it. He is respectful and thoughtful. I have asked him why he doesn't do anything with his friends (invite them over or go anywhere) and if I'm doing something to embarrasses him and he gets upset and quits talking to me.[/quote] It occurred me that your son is either in his teens now, or will be soon. At this time, he is changing a [b]lot[/b]. Chemically, physically and mentally. Adding in the new place to live and it could just be that it is taking him longer to settle in than you expected, or are comfortable with. If you are seriously worried about him you can talk to a counselor at school or get him to a psychologist. There is usually a mental health center in most county's. Look them up and find out how to make an appointment for him, and possibly for you. It sounds like you feel like you are kind of in over your head. [quote]We have a nice house but I haven't done much to decorate or make it homey because I can't really afford anything. Also I have a very old and beat up looking car. He doesn't complain about either of those things but maybe he knows we can't afford anything else and he doesn't want me to feel bad. Do any of you think you wouldn't hang out with your friends if your parents had an ugly car, or do you have any other ideas?[/quote] It sounds like you, too, are embarrassed about your car and your house. Maybe he is worried because he knows that those things bother you. There are a lot of decorating things that can be done with very little expense. Ask your son what he thinks is the most important thing that your home needs. Then the two of you see what you can come up with. Look in libraries, magazines and online. Make it a contest. Give yourselves a week to come up with ideas, then plan a time to sit down and talk about what can be done. Decide what it is that both of you want to do, and figure out what is needed and how to do it. If it will take hands to help, maybe you could suggest that maybe a friend or two might be willing to come help and get paid with pizza, or something similar. - tsprague1 Thu, 21 Jan 2010 20:04:54 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3407 It sounds like you have a nice relationship with your 3 year old. Good going! Some of the things I learned from my Mom and on my own: If you find yourself getting upset about something, mentally take a step back and ask yourself is this is going to matter in 5 minutes? Sometimes, we are tired and act without thinking. This kind of gives you the edge over it. Housework is always there, your kids will not. Take the time to play, even if the floor needs to be picked up, or some other chore. One day when we were all bored and cranky, I put all the dining room chairs in a circle with the backs facing inward. I got 2 blankets and showed them how to make a "Tent" with them. Then we went inside it and told stories and tried to make each other laugh. It worked and we were much less apt to annoy each other.Kids grow up, they move away, etc. They will never be the same age as they are now. Never. Enjoy it. I can remember laying out on the grass with them watching ants. The kids were fascinated. I remembered doing the same thing as a kid. When I would be working in the garden, I would hand each child a serving spoon and they would "help" me. The spoons get cleaned, dirt washes out of clothes, and baths are fun. Don't be fearful of letting your child get dirty. It won't hurt them and they can always get clean later. My younger son and I would have a power struggle almost every school day over what he was going to wear. He didn't want to wear what I picked out and I wouldn't let him wear sweats or other non-school clothes. My Mom suggested that I pick out 3 outfits and let him choose between those three. That way we both got to decide. It worked. Then he started wearing all black (I think he was 11). He had discovered that the girls looked at him approvingly when he wore black. So that's what he wore. My older son never cared about what he wore, as long as it was comfortable. - tsprague1 Thu, 21 Jan 2010 19:28:16 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3382 I've been reading all these comments, and I can't even believe the whininess of all these comments. I'm seventeen, and I went through a stage where "I hated my parents" because they made me do chores and homework and I didnt get a car and blah blah blah. But its because they forced to me have a work ethic, and they forced me to be responsible, that I turned out to be the person that I am. I am grateful that my parents cared enough to get invlolved. When parents intrude, its because they are worried. I especially disagree with number one. Parents are not perfect; they mess up JUST LIKE TEENAGERS. I don't expect my parents to be perfect because is. I'm not. And you know what? If you are ashamed of what you are doing and you don't want to tell your parents, then maybe you shouldn't be doing it! When my asks me if I'm "sexually active" I tell the truth because I trust my parents. And all of you pathetic losers who have the gall to blame your parents for your current problems disgust me. Unless your parents molested or abused you, I think that you are shifting the blame from your own inadequacies to your parents. "Oh, I cant hang out with my friends or I can't go to the movies". Boo freakin hoo. I mean really? the only reason I get to hang out with my friemds is because I have a job, and I can pay my own gas, insurance, and I don't have to ask them for money! Also, perhaps you should look at the bigger picture. AS children, we have only a a few things to worry about - school, friends, etc. Parents have much more: their kids, their jobs, the house, the mortgage, the economy, and so much more. The world isn't about you - my parents taught me the value of sacrifice, of doing something I don't want to do because it helps someone else. I am grateful that my parents don't follow eight of these ten ridiculous rules. And I'm only seventeen. - Are you kidding me? Thu, 21 Jan 2010 06:00:07 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3381 im 18 years old! MY DAD WONT LET ME HAVE A BF!! [b]i cant go to the movies with friends! i cant get out of my house (not even front yard) unless i go to work or school but i have to come back home...[/b] n theres a whole lot more going on...basically im living the life how my dad wants to because of all the mistakes he did in the past without letting me do mistakes of my own to be able to learn! - Daritza Thu, 21 Jan 2010 05:33:20 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3378 One rule my parents never broke was "Making the house as sterile as an operating room"... need I elaborate? They were guilty as sin about disrespecting my friends. If I wrote a book on parenting, it would be simple: Don't be like my parents. - TJ DJ Thu, 21 Jan 2010 04:03:55 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3376 I see a lot of teenagers writing so I'm hoping you can give me advice, or other parents who have been through something similar. A couple of years ago I was divorced and my then pre-teen and I had to move to where I found a job to support us. He was mad at me for a long time and also just sad to leave his dad and his friends and I understand that. I thought he was having trouble making friends because he does not talk about any friends, but now I think he just doesn't want to bring them home for some reason (which logically might be me). Before we moved, we had tons of kids over all the time. He would have all night video game parties or swim parties. I love having lots of kids around and he always seemed to have such a good time with everyone. His teachers tell me he is very popular with the other kids. The friends I have met at school tell me he quits talking as soon as I show up but that normally he is very fun. I know he spends a lot of time texting and on his facebook page, but mostly he plays video games at home. He is a good kid and makes good grades and helps me out around the house when I need it. He is respectful and thoughtful. I have asked him why he doesn't do anything with his friends (invite them over or go anywhere) and if I'm doing something to embarrasse him and he gets upset and quits talking to me. We have a nice house but I haven't done much to decorate or make it homey because I can't really afford anything. Also I have a very old and beat up looking car. He doesn't complain about either of those things but maybe he knows we can't afford anything else and he doesn't want me to feel bad. Do any of you think you wouldn't hang out with your friends if your parents had an ugly car, or do you have any other ideas? - a mom Thu, 21 Jan 2010 03:58:32 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3375 Hello. I've read some very interesting and scary comments here. Honestly, i have learnt a little too. I grew up with my mum (my dad was busy spreading his oatmeal around town). My mum is a free thinker and she let us grow independently but with little restrictions now and then. I made a lot of mistakes but i learned from them. I am a better person today because i was allowed to be who i was meant to be. We live and we learn. Give your children breathing space, parents. And children, your parents DO love you though sometimes they sound like dictators. Peace and love.:) - HeartOfGold Thu, 21 Jan 2010 03:48:01 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3374 I am going to be 19 and i live with my dad and his wife. i dong have a problem with my father untile his wife comes into the picture. she trys to run everything i cant go anywhere with anyone, she gets mad if i dont tell her something but if i was to tell her should would get mad at that. she loves to controle everyones lives and she does not let anyone have a life of their own. i do understand that we have to listen to are parents but there is a point that they are runing our social life. my friends will tell sometimes that they would rather not even hang out beacause they see how my stepmom is !! i really dont like that i wanna be able to hangout with my friends and have a good time and not have to worry if when i go home am i going to be yelled at beacuse i was not home.. what am i to do ??!! - mia Thu, 21 Jan 2010 03:21:15 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3373 When I was growing up my parents did what they probably thought were the best things for me. But I feel like they have completely messed it all up. #10 really hits home for me. I'd never have friends over because my parents were so embarassing and intrusive, they would fight while my friends were there(my bestfriend just told me the other day that she clearly remembers them fighting every time she came over) and my mother was a pack rat(still is). And there would be tons and tons of boxes and stacks of useless things to live among. I couldn't talk to them about anything and when I did they wouldn't listen or they would yell at me. Example: I went to them and asked them to take me to the dr for birth control, no one wants to think of their kids having sex, and they felt by saying no that I simply wouldn't have sex. Being the oldest they never let me do anything, so when I ended up pregnant at 16 they decided to change the rules with my youngest sister. She did whatever she wanted stayed the night at her boyfriend's house drank all weekend every weekend and also got pregnant at 16.(and I offered to take her for birth control because I knew how our parents were) My biggest fear is that I'm going to in some way screw up with my children. They are still young so its not too late to learn all the right and wrong ways to deal with things. I have to say that I have been guilty of not setting a good example and gossiping on the phone about people. I make sure that I give my son space with his friends(he's only 5). I'll look in from time to time if it gets too quiet haha. (You just never know what they could be doing when the silence sets in.) According to this article I'm not failing yet! We'll see when my kids are teenagers. I just have to remember my teen years for some reference. I hope to always have good communication with my children. Also... someone mentioned introducing your children to every man/woman that you date & that you shouldn't do this. I couldn't agree more. I am a single mother and my son's father is taking him around this woman he has been seeing for less than a month. I have explained that it is going to hurt him, and that its not good to let him get attached to anyone that HE himself is not willing to get attached to. But, he is more worried about his personal gain than the pain he causes his son later and sadly I can't do anything about it. If you are not into a relationship heart and soul DO NOT bring your children into the picture!!! Lying to them is not the answer either. "This is my 'friend'" = not going to work. I worry that my son's image of women is going to be distorted. Even though I am a single parent, I believe I can help them understand dating and relationships. I won't be single forever & that'll be a whole new ball game I'm sure. Try your best and if you think you are messing it up I guess ask your kids for their input! You might not like what you hear but take it into consideration and keep your cool. I wish my parents would have done this; I think it would have helped the relationship we had. - MommyRae Thu, 21 Jan 2010 03:12:41 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3372 [b][/b]I am 22 yrs old and raising a 3 yr old son alone.... I have had many problems myself with the "overprotective mom" issue. My parents split up when I was 11, my father split town and my mother worked all the time to provide for us. As a result I got myself into more than my fair share of trouble. Because of my behavior, my mother stopped trusting me and began to deeply intrude into my life, long after i had finally wised up and started making better choices and decisions. It caused a deep strain on our relationship and to this day we have problems with her being too inquisitve about my personal life and commenting on my parenting style and lifestyle choices. I understand (now that i have a child of my own!) why she did what she did and acts the way she does. I'm personally trying to avoid the same issues with my son when he gets older. I can only hope that I am a more understanding and open parent than she was. Here's the deal.... Kids- Listen to your parents. I know it sucks not getting to do what you want whenever you want but I promise most of what they are doing is trying to keep you from making the same mistakes that they did. If you want something more ( more privalages, a later curfew, internet access in your room, etc.) than present the idea to them along with why you believe that you deserve it and what you are willing to do to earn that privalage. They will be much more inclined to listen to you and actually think on what you said instead of it just being an automatic no. My 3 yr old and I wheel and deal if he wants a new toy or a bag of candy or money or whatever. We come to an agreement to a chore or something he needs to do to earn whatever it is he wants. I hope it will continue on like this through the teenage years so he does learn that nothing in life is a right, only a privalage... And please remember parents are people too. We are not perfect, we don't know everything and we make mistakes like everyone else. We would love to have all the right answers for everything but kids just don't come with an instruction manuel so unless we had the best parents in the world to look up to and follow we are just guessing and trying to do what we feel is best for you just like every other parent on the planet. Just remeber that no matter how badly we mess up we probably had the best intentions and we love you very much. Parents-Please ease off of your children and give them room to grow. They will never learn to make the right decisions if you don't give them the chance to make mistakes. And your kids love you, idolize you no matter what they scream at you when they are mad. They look up to you and want to be like you so please try to give them the best example of what you want them to be. And they really do want some rules. If you let them do whatever they want then they feel unloved and push the limits as far as they can to get the attention they so desperatly want. And you have to trust your child unless they give you a valid reason not to (being ten minutes late getting home is not a valid reason to go through their email and diaries. that is deeply overreacting). Let them earn your trust bit by bit and let them grow. And love them, love them, love them no matter wether you agree with their chioces or not always love them. I think if parents and children can learn to talk and give each others' opinions a chance and trust each other just a little, than the world can be a better more loving place. And to those kids that are truely in a bad situation ( abuse, molestation, etc) please please please talk to someone. A teacher, a guidance conselor, a friends parent, a coach, anyone you can trust... Kick and scream and fight until someone believes and someone pays attention and gets you out. I'm not a deeply religious person but I will be praying for you... *live every day like it's your last* - bellamorte Thu, 21 Jan 2010 03:02:29 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3370 Ok what see said was true, and so did you guys ( needless to say I didn't read them all) But thats not the piont nether of my parents are like that but there are some kids parents that are like that. How? I don't even no their parents and I know their jerks? How? Look at how some kids behave, never the less thats were the kids get it. >:( And parents say we are giving the atatude. - sirmouseyface Thu, 21 Jan 2010 02:30:16 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3364 [b]My little sister, on the other hand, is even worse off then me. My stepfather, who I call my dad even though him and my mom aren't married any longer, is her biological father. He is VERY opinionated and loud. He doesn't let anyone tell him what to do and he gets angry very easily. My sister is 13 years old and has picked up on this. She disrespects my mother, because my mom has given up trying to be a parent. She lets my sister get away with swearing and disrespecting her. When I was her age, I was afraid to disrespect my mother. I never disrespected my mother. My little sister has the worst attitude and I wonder how she even has friends. She's a know-it-all as most teens are and she gets away with almost anything. I'm afraid that when I move out in a few weeks, that things will get even worse. Now the whole "throw in the towel" point comes into play. When my mom and my sister argue, my mom just goes, "You know what? I'm not dealing with this anymore." She then cries and locks herself in her room. I see this as very childish, because if I was my mom I would've grounded her on the spot. I don't know what to do with my little sister. I can't do much, because if I do, my parents get on to me. Parents, don't give up and let your child have free reign. There are rules you need to enforce. Your child might not like it, but if you give them too much room they'll end up just making their life more miserable. We need structure as a kid that way we can have structure as an adult. If you're a single mother, don't introduce your kid(s) to every man you start to date. Same goes for dads about women. You need to make sure the relationship works. Your relationships affect your kid(s) just as much, if not more, as they affect you. If you put your kids in a stable environment, they will grow up and have stable relationships and friendships. Both parents need to talk to their kid(s). Even if your kid locks themselves in their room, you need to barge in and make them play a game of monopoly or something with you. It's good to give your kids privacy, it shows them that you trust them enough and respect their privacy to leave them alone when they wish it. But sometimes when teens want to be alone it's because they're depressed or trying to shut themselves off from the world. Please, new parents or experienced parents, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read up on teenage depression and read the signs. Even if it's not your kid(s) but one of their friends, you can save someone's life if you know what you're looking for and stop it before it grows. Please become aware of this. It's vital. You don't know how many times I wished when I was younger that my mom had realized it and didn't put her relationship before us. How many times I stayed up at night and cried because I felt alone. Please, for your child(s)' sake, take an active position in your child(s)' life and be open to listening to them talk, even if the problems seem small. Just asking how they are or making them play a game of monopoly can make a world of difference. Thank you. [/b] - Lunita Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:30:12 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3363 [b]I'm 19 years old and my mother's 3rd child. I've never met my biological father and have had 2 stepfathers since I was born. I love my mom, but for the longest time I've disagreed with a lot of things she's done. This article hits a point when it says to set a good example. My first stepfather was physically and emotionally abusive to my mom. I was only 4 at the time, but I remember them telling me to go to my room and as a kid I was curious so I sneaked back out to see what was going on. I still remember clearly me seeing him raise his hand to her. He had OCD and anger management problems. I'll hate him to this day for what he put my mom through, but I can't blame him solely. My mom was the one who stuck around when she knew she could've got out of it. I've seen my mom in plenty of abusive relationships. She got out of one a couple of years ago that not only hurt her, but me and my little sister too. The guy was emotionally abusive and a drunk. My mom was so depressed while we lived there that she had threatened her life a couple of time, though this wasn't new to us. She almost wrecked our car one day, saying she should just kill us now. She was so blind to the fact that it was taking a toll on all of us. I was 15 at the time and had my own problems. I'm extremely empathic and had been dealing with depression for 3 years without it getting treated. She found out the hard way about my depression when I attempted suicide in '05. I remember her distinctly while I was at the hospital telling me she didn't realize I was depressed. I still battle depression but not as bad. I've learned a lot of negative things from my mother. I have unstable relationships, mostly because I've had the insecurity of men leaving me like my biological father left me mom and cheated on his wife with my mom. I'm horrible at socializing. I have very few friends and my mom is the same way.She also LOVES to play the guilt trip on us. "Oh I must be such a horrible parent." "Maybe I should just kill myself and get it done with." "Maybe I should move out of the house and get a one bedroom apartment." That kind of stuff. This annoys me to know end! Parents, do not try the guilt trip! It only works for so long before you start pushing your kids away. That and the fact that she overdramatic about every little thing. Just this morning she got mad at me because she woke me up and asked me to find something. I was trying to find it and she asked me again if I couldn't find it to which I replied, "Look, give me a second. I just woke up, I'm tired." She then got mad and started yelling. I've gotten to the point where I have had to say, "Mother! Just shoosh! Jeez! Let me explain!" It irritates me to no end. Another thing parents should think about. Don't start yelling at your kids because you're irritated or in a hurry or stressed out. Talk to us calmly and things should go much smoother! I'm a good person, though. I'm extremely nice and I listen to everyone's problems and try to help as much as I can. I learned this positive trait from my mom. Even through all the bad things, I learned to treat people with respect and to have my own opinions. I learned to stand up for what I believe in and to speak my mind. So not all of it is bad. [/b] - Lunita Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:29:12 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3362 my parents are from asia but i grew up in australia since the age of 2, but they are trying to fucking raise me like i live in the middle of asia in the 60s which is where they grew up. they don't realise that i'm different to them, i can barely speak their language, i grew up in a totally different world and time and they need to adapt. i can't talk to them because they really arent the "sit on the couch and we can talk" type. such fuckers. im getting the hell out of here as soon as im 18. - kristinaa Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:14:01 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3361 Also, there are a couple more that parents tend to do, being: 1: They want to check all the instant messages and text’s between you and your friends. Which is like wanting them to call you over at a social so you can listen in on their conversations with their friends. So not happening. 2: Sexist Parents. They don’t let a girl do anything with a guy solely because they are the opposite gender, even when it is blatant that they are not interested in each other. 3: They don’t let you dress the way you want, you have to look preppy and wonderful and it only makes the child angry that they can’t be who they want to be, which makes it hard for them to find the friends they want to be around, because they don’t know which friends their parents will like. 4: Their friends are afraid of the parents because they control and micro manage their kids. Those are what I find to bother me lol. - Katriana Wed, 20 Jan 2010 23:06:44 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3359 [b]First I would like to say thanks for giving my post the most positive feedback. Someone mentioned I should tell my dad about what I posted by showing him this webpage. Well, I did that and got a much different response then I thought I would. After he read it he sat back in his chair and tears started to fall on his cheeks. I asked him what was wrong and he replied ”You have just confirmed I have succeeded in becoming the father I always wished I had”. Not sure what he meant I became very curious and asked him about his childhood but he seemed reluctant to tell me anything specific. What he did say was “I loved my dad, your grandpa with all heart but it becomes very damaging to your character and makes you feel sad when you grow up never truly sure if he loves you back. When you were born I made it my mission in life to show you so much love that you will never know what it was like to feel that way”. Mission Accomplished [/b] - jaycarl Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:47:54 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3358 I'm still a teenager and I even agree with many of these statements. Even tho I live with my grandparents and they're "old school", they still provide a good and happy environment and do not judge my friends before they get to know them so this makes me not scared to bring my friends over to visit, and they also provide very good examples of behavior, respect, responsibility, and etc. One major problem I have encountered with many parents even ones that are not my friends' parents is judgment. Too many people judge other people by their appearance and don't talk to the person or attempt to get to know them before making a judgment about the person. Many of my problems I have with parents, adults, authority figures, and other people is that they judge me on my appearance. I so happen to like to wear black clothing and other dark colored clothes but I am not "goth", I just like these colors and how they look on me. Also I so happen to have multiple piercings. I have 3 lip rings, 2 eyebrow rings, 2 tongue rings, and both ears pierced twice with rather large "gauges" (open fistulas/holes that you can see through usually [i][this is for some people that may not be familiar with them, or know what I'm talking about and wonder what they are][/i]). But with many parents or adults in general they "jump the gun" and judge me without getting to know me first. Many of them say numerous crazy things ranging from "I don't like the way he dresses, and what's with all those piercings? He must be a devil worshiper or something," and sometimes other things like "He must be a bad kid and probably a druggie because of how he looks and all those piercings." The funniest thing to me about comments like these are that I've never done a drug in my life and I've never even smoked, drank, or done anything like that and I am actually a Christian and the people at my church love that someone like me goes to their church because it shows other kids outside of church who see me go there that they shouldn't be ashamed of who they are and shouldn't be ashamed of their faith/belief and also I so happen to actually be a A-B average student in school. So for people that like to judge and "jump the gun" on making comments and think that all kids that may have piercings, wear dark clothes, or just don't look/seem "normal" to you doesn't mean they're devil worshipers, bad kids, or any of the other crazy ideas that you have running around in your head. They say you can learn a lot about a person within the first few moments you speak with them. So next time give your kid's new friend a chance and actually get to know them before you judge them and tell you kid they can't or aren't allowed to be around their new friend. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Nick and Your child's next friend that you judge without getting to know them - Nick Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:47:49 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3354 [quote]it has always bothered me to see white parents kick their kids out onto the streets when they turn 18. i am first generation american my family is a very traditionally rich mexican family, and my culture doesnt allow this to happen, we simply do not kick our kids out at 18! its sad and a shame really that white people do this, just because the law states that you are no longer responsible for them once 18 doesnt mean that you stop being their parent! [/quote] For one thing, where did you get the idea that this is true of all white people, or even the majority. [quote]i have read alot of the comments here and all the parents sound like they know how theyre going to raise them and everything it seems like you have it all figured out, but what will you do when your kid reaches the age of 18?!?!??!?!?! are you going to kick them out onto the cold streets and let them figure it out on their own? what about a job?? at what age are you going to let your kid get a job and if you do how many hours are you willing to let them work so they can also have time for their school work and such???[/quote] Who, exactly, is going to kick their child out of the house because they have turned 18? As for jobs, like any family where ever they are or come from, it depends on the family. Both of my son's worked from 14 on up. When I grew up, none of family worked until they were out of High School. This really is not a good way to come on here, with accusations instead of asking how our various family's handle things. - tsprague1 Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:18:24 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3353 i have read alot of the comments here and all the parents sound like they know how theyre going to raise them and everything it seems like you have it all figured out, but what will you do when your kid reaches the age of 18?!?!??!?!?! are you going to kick them out onto the cold streets and let them figure it out on their own? what about a job?? at what age are you going to let your kid get a job and if you do how many hours are you willing to let them work so they can also have time for their school work and such??? it has always bothered me to see white parents kick their kids out onto the streets when they turn 18. i am first generation american my family is a very traditionally rich mexican family, and my culture doesnt allow this to happen, we simply do not kick our kids out at 18! its sad and a shame really that white people do this, just because the law states that you are no longer responsible for them once 18 doesnt mean that you stop being their parent! i would really like to hear some feedback from people on this topic - ric Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:03:45 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-3352 [quote]TLS, you are a good mom. Every parent should read your post. [/quote] Thank you. I hope that I have been. My younger son is now 27 and my older would have been 29 (he died 3 years ago in an auto accident). One of the more memorable lines from a discussion with my older son, when he was 16 and had come back from camping with some friends, was "What do you mean the tree hit the truck? Tree's are stationary." His response was "That's what Dad said." He never did quite explain how the back seat of the truck burned up. Or how he "accidentally" stepped in the pot of hot water on the campfire (he was wearing leather, mid calf boots, thank heavens!)He did say something about another group of campers, "but we didn't do anything. Really, Mom" He was grounded for quite a while after that. - tsprague1 Wed, 20 Jan 2010 20:58:35 +0100