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 Tips on How to Talk About the Hot Topics It's time to get down to business and talk with our husbands (or wives) about some serious issues--you know those touchy subjects like money, our health, and sex. Before you wade into those deep waters, here are a few tips you might consider.
1. Never interrupt, cut the other person off, or talk over them. 2. When the other person talks, repeat what they say (in short form) so they know you have heard them. Trust me; as weird as this sounds; it works! 3. Avoid eye-rolling, and other negative body language. 4. Process what you are being told instead of immediately reacting on the defensive. You may have misunderstood. 5. Assume the best; not the worst. 6. Whenever your spouse is right about something; acknowledge it before proceeding (“you are right about that…but can I add something?”) 7. Don’t initiate discussions after sex, in bed, during meals, or when you are angry at each other. Calm down and make a mutual appointment to talk. 8. Start your sentences with “I” instead of “you” to avoid the 9. Encourage, praise, and complement each other as often as possible. 10. Watch the bad habit of sounding annoyed and irritated all the time. It creeps in when you least expect it. 11. Ask your spouse when they have time to talk, don’t just launch into a heavy discussion of sensitive issues. 12. A good counselor can teach you to talk about each in a way that doesn’t embarrass, wound, or create a defensive reaction. Fear and pride are the two culprits hiding behind most of our communication difficulties.
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Comments (7)
  written by Stanza,I.D., January 20, 2010
These tips are wonderfully & carefully sorted, That is a good one, keep rebuilding homes
 written by alex12456789, January 20, 2010
this worked for me too i used and me and my husbend are havinh sex every day its so great
 written by jojomegan, January 20, 2010
You do have to really work at it. Be aware of your emotional state and remain in control. If you feel yourself getting to a point where your emotions are going to override your control, ask for a break. Take five and give your self a chance to get back in control. Also, allow your partner to do the same. It may even help to offer a moment to them if you observe they are "loosing it". Now if only I can always follow my own advise...
 written by Jenny Bea, January 20, 2010
I have used these tips for years, actually- it isn't new news, but very great advice. (However, I have found that after sex, get out of bed and go onto the couch and talk. We're both more relaxed, after having reconected with each other, and less likely to want to jab at each other.) Always make sure you understand the other person, and that you aren't overbearing when getting your point of view across. Be fair and respectful, just like you would want done to you. These tips won't solve everything, but will help solve most things, and make each person more secure in their relationship. You won't constantly wonder when the next attack is coming, and you will feel that you can really talk to your partner about everything.
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Deborah is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice near Raleigh, North Carolina and the author of a new book for women of all ages: Stupid About Men: 10 Rules for Getting Romance Right, published by Simon and Schuster/Howard Books and released in Feb. 2009. Her career includes twenty years of experience working with women, couples, and adolescents, helping them make healthier life choices under her logo, SmartAboutLife! She is currently working on a second book for her publisher titled Life After Stupid: The SMART Principles for Rebuilding Your Life After Big Mistakes and Blunders. A popular and dynamic motivational speaker and media guest Deborah can be reached through her website at 
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