| 7 Ways to Increase Your Child's Success in School |
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Here are seven surprisingly simple solutions that every parent should have in their toolbox that are proven to boost children’s school success (and we often overlook).
Related: Does Sticking to Bedtime Make Kids Smarter?
2. Applaud their efforts the right way. Columbia University researchers found that how we praise our kids’ schoolwork can actually enhance or impede their achievement. So instead of encouraging your child to bring home straight A’s, put the emphasis on how hard she is working. This will encourage her to persist and it will help to sustain her motivation. The findings are that kids who are praised for their persistence are more likely to blame any failure they have on not trying hard enough, rather than on a lack of ability (a belief which can discourage kids very easily). Above all, keep in mind that the grade is not what motivates top students to succeed- it’s their drive for learning. Related: Perfect Ways to Help 'Perfectionist' Kids
3. Respect their learning style. If your son insists on plugging into his iPod when he studies, or if your daughter swears that flash cards are the only way she can learn her spelling words- listen up! While you may prefer a quiet room with no distractions when it comes to getting work done, that doesn’t mean it’s the best way for your kids to concentrate and get down to business. Harvard researcher Howard Gardner’s work shows there are eight kinds of intelligences-or ways kids learn best-which include: musical, spatial, logical-mathematical, linguistic, bodily, intrapersonal, interpersonal and naturalist. The trick is to pay attention to your kids so you can identify which type they are and tap into that to help them be more successful. 4. Pay attention to their peers. The truth of the matter is that peer pressure can have both positive and negative consequences on a child’s education. If your child chooses friends who believe that education is important, chances are she will adopt those attitudes and put more emphasis into hitting the books harder and focusing more in class. On the flip side, if your child is best buddies with a kid who stays distracted during class, doesn’t turn in homework assignments, and rarely studies before a big test, chances are she will fall in line with their bad habits. Need proof? An Ohio State University study found that kids are more likely to have friends with future college plans if they have a warm, positive relationship with their parents. So cultivate that kind of parenting style and you’ll help your child make the right friendship decisions!” Related: No More BFF's for Kids. WHAT?!
6.Squelch the stress…at home. Research shows that the conflict kids face at home spills over into their school life and impedes their learning. In fact, family-induced stress can affect kids’ learning and behavior for up to two days following an incident. Take a vow of ‘yellibacy.’ Make your home a stress-free zone. Find ways to de-stress with your kids. Take longs walks, read together, do yoga, or have a family movie night. Be a model to them on how to disagree without it ending in a screaming match- and never engage with a screamer. Teach your kids that it’s okay for them to walk away from an argument until they are calm enough to return. Once you learn how to tune into your child’s stress signs, you’ll be able to recognize when he’s on overload so that you can intervene and help him to decompress before something comes to blows. Related: When Mom or Dad Needs a TIME OUT: 7 Ways To Reduce Parental Stress 7.Tailor expectations to your child’s abilities. All parents want the very best for their kids. It’s only natural! As a parent, you should consider your learning aspirations for your child like a rubber band: gently stretch but don’t snap. Every child is different, and while it's okay to encourage them to try hard and achieve their best, it’s also important to remember that ‘the best’ is different for every child. Just because your kid isn’t composing his own symphonies or writing his memoirs by age 10, it doesn’t mean that he won’t still do great things with his life. Always remember this one commandment: ‘Tailor thy parenting only to thy child’. You and your children will be happier and healthier for it. Related: BACK OFF! When Parents Need to Stop Hovering to Start Helping If you want to boost your kid’s academic performance and see lasting results, it will take a few things from you: consistency, dedication, and patience. Those things are always better parenting tools than anything money can buy. And remember that no two kids are the same, even if they come from the same household. If you pay attention to the individual needs of each child and do what’s right for your child and for you, you’ll see the payoff in their attitudes and their report cards in no time.
Michele Borba, Ed.D., is an educational psychologist, former teacher, and mom. She is recognized for offering research-driven advice culled from a career of working with over one million parents, educators, and children. A Today show contributor and recipient of the National Educator Award, Michele is the author of 23 books including Building Moral Intelligence, No More Misbehavin', and her latest release, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. She also appears on countless shows including Dr. Phil, The View, Tyra, CNN HLN, and The Early Show, and has been featured in numerous publications, including U.S. News & World Report, The Chicago Tribune, Redbook, Family Circle, Parenting, and Child. She is an advisory board member for Parents magazine and she writes the blog “Parenting Solutions” for NBC's iVillage. For more information, visit www.micheleborba.com or follow her on twitter @micheleborba ORDER 'The BIG BOOK of Parenting Solutions' for more of Dr. Borba's proven strategies. Your kids will thank you! Comments (14)
  written by Anonymous1278, March 04, 2010
What about being there for your kid to help them with their homework? Being involved in their school work and in their school lives? Ask them to show you their homework assignments. Help them where they need help. Simple as that. Don't follow these wishy-washy "Cater to your child" tips. Simply help them with their studies. Don't praise them for bad grades and tell them to simply try harder. Make grades a priority. An "A" equals a reward. A bad grade = no video games, TV, borrowing the car, what have you until the grades come up. Make them realize there are consequences for bad grades.
 written by Tony, January 21, 2010
Ally, you sound very ignorant and uneducated in your remarks! All the schools teach is pro-government stuff? What is that even supposed to mean? As for the homework thing, I know from others, as well as personal experience, that practice, in homework or anything else, makes perfect, and doing these things for homework and practicing them does help people absorb the information, rather than just memorize it! As for the teachers suck remark, I graduated in '99, and just like then, there are bad teachers, good teachers, and great teachers. That remark just shows your level of ignorance, to make a blanket statement like that about all teachers, seriously, grow up!!!!!
 written by SJG, January 21, 2010
First, I'd like to say I'm sorry to all of those who feel this article is wrong. I would be curious to find out what prompted you to read it in the first place. I'm guessing you wanted to see how you parents were doing, and got defensive when you saw they weren't perfect. None of us are perfect, so don't be down if they aren't doing one or two of the things on the list. Talk to them about trying to correct things that are making the biggest impact. I have watched many other parents, including my own and I think the list is fairly accurate. Don't attack that, which you have not tried. Good luck to Patricia O'Leary, that's a hard situation. I know friends from high school who worked two jobs to help support the family, and it really does impact their grades.
 written by One of those annoying nerds, January 21, 2010
look a lot of you have gone and said that things like this is totally not true, or that a lot of this is wrong. That's not true! Maybe for you guys it is but for a lot of people it really does help, I'm a junior in high school and I have gotten straight A's most of my life but I dropped this year. I noticed that there were many things on this list we stopped doing. First off my mom started yelling about every little thing, fairly stressful if you ask me. Ya she yelled at people before but now she yells about EVERYTHING. Also we stopped having our nightly dinner, just started eating wherever and whenever. Also on this not I have not had more than 5-6 hours of sleep a night this semester! except for a few days. Plus before this year my mom stressed that I should try hard and do my best, suddenly its "get straight A's or your not goin to college." blah blah T_T I got 90-98% on all my ACT preps pshhh. Lastly my mom has started sticking me and my brothers each in different rooms and banning us from all media until we finish our work. Honestly I have always worked better with the TV on or some music playing, I just cant stand the quiet! My grades have dropped to 3 B's 3 A's and a C this year! Just pointing out, until your family either does some of these or stops doing some you never notice. By the way Ally (and dont everyone get snotty with me for this, I wont notice I'm posting this and never comin back.) If your going to comment on how nobody pay's attention spell check, and maybe check some of your grammar, re read your thing at least. I know I have issues with my stuff everyone does but phrases like "I still can give the grades to pass high school" sorry but it could be a lot better. As for the teachers dont care thing sorry to hear that, I've always had the cool teachers, the fun ones who could do all the random awesome games and activities and still incorporate learning, but I met a teacher who just didnt care once! I hated his class because he just droned all day I never learned anything. If you have issues with these kind of people your best bet is to wait tell they tell you what your learning and figure it out yourself, find fun ways to try and solve the example math problems they give or make little ditties for important information in science. Whatever makes you happy. If you keep it quiet the teacher doesnt care anymore what you do than he does about teaching.
 written by high school freshmen, January 20, 2010
all of these things vary, a lot. i'm a freshmen in high school, am always stressed out, never get enough sleep/food but, i still get good grades. i don't even study.one of the things i find more important is to pay attention. its the simplist thing yet rarely do stuents do it. also, yes this is normally true but, not always. i'm continusly stretched to my breaking point and, am always working on something. averagly i get about five hours sleep and, rarely do i even have to worry about it. grades depend on the persn, how much they care about their grades, how much they actually do their work and, how much they pay attention in class. remember you can be stretched to the limit non-stop, barely get any sleep, not study, and depending on who you are still get awesome grdes
 written by Mollyyy, January 20, 2010
I'm a sophomore in high school, a lot of what this article said i could relate to/agree with. my mom does some of those things well but some she definitely doesn't. she doesn't get the whole ipod helps me do homework thing, but she does encourage me to work harder than rather that straight As are necessary. I definitely need to work on the sleep thing. I have a bedtime of 10:30 but i lay in bed with my ipod till like 11:30-midnight or later. I definitely need more sleep haha. Last year at this time I was getting two or three As and a range of Bs, but now i have 5 As and one B+. Haha i think high school is much better for the than junior high was (where i was last year). So yeah this article was interesting!
 written by Rick-James, January 20, 2010
I Have never and will never like school. From kindergarden through 2nd grade I went to the nurse every day to try and go home. The hatred of school has always confused my mom because since 1st grade I had a high reading level, in 4th grade I tested into advenced classes, and in 7th my reading level tested as "post high-school". As a freshman my mom asked me what college i planned on attending. I told her I didn't and decided on joing the Army. My mom hates guns and violence and was a t first a little pissed off. but in the two years since has accepted this and finally let me start a paintball team. She knows I can''t stand being in school and doesn't push me too hard. as long as i maintain a B average and keep our discount on drivers insurance she lets me pretend school doesnt exist.
 written by PATRICIA O'LEARY, January 20, 2010
well i have to say... it explains alot....i'm in 8th grade and i take my algebra class by computer at school, the teacher doesn't really do much in that class....but the guy next to me is only one lesson ahead of me on the computer and we were some of the top kids in class for how much we exeded in the program...but the difference is that he goes to bed at 9 every night and i go to bed when i CAN.
so when it came to the district test he scored 80%! its a really good score cuz most people were happy just to get a D on the test.... somehow.....i ended up with 40% the thing is that the night before...i only had 2hrs of sleep due to a pile up of hw i guess you were right... but its so hard to do hw cuz my mom takes care of us but she works all day and my so i stay with my sister...but she has add.... so i get so distracted around no matter what! its ANNOYING!! I TELL TO LET ME FOCUS AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW SHE BRINGS LIKE ALL THESE FREINDS HOMFE! IT SUCKS!!
 written by Cara Letmepostalready, January 20, 2010
Love these tips. I am currently a sophomore in high school, and I know that this stuff is true from personal experience. I hate it when teachers say "leave your personal stuff at the door, it doesn't matter in school." Yes it does! Before my parents got divorced, they fought. A lot. And I was stressed. My grades went down. They got divorced. I'm now an honors student. I'd probably be in advanced placement if it weren't for the lack of sleep....
 written by Teacher, January 20, 2010
I am a teacher in high school. Another way to help them is to keep in contact with their teachers, AND listen to the teachers. It's so unfortunate when I have to make a phone call home, and the parent starts yelling at me for whatever reason or telling me that they don't believe their children could ever do anything wrong. Teachers are some of the LOWEST paid professions with a degree out there. We are not in this for the money, or to make kids lives miserable. We are in this because we love teaching students and watching them grow intellectually, socially, emotionally, and physically into adults. So, if a teacher calls, its because they have a problem or concern and need your help NOT because they enjoy picking on your child!
 written by helen harrison, January 20, 2010  Where were you when I was a kid? As a child with reading problems, ADD, & parents who didn't realize what influence words have on kids, live and my self-esteem were pretty miserable. I parented as I was parented, ignorance breeding ignorance, you might call it. As an adult, I have educated myself, and fortunately my children have overcome their upbringing, and gone on to be successful, but I did a lot of damage by simply not being educated enough. Thank you for writing common sense books with practical information. My children are much better, more informed parents than I was , but I am still going to give them your book !
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1. Make sure your kids are getting enough zzz’s A lack of sleep can have a serious impact on children’s abilities to learn and perform at school. In fact, in one recent study, Tel Aviv University researchers found that missing just one hour of sleep can be enough to reduce a child’s cognitive abilities by almost two years the next day. For example, a sixth grader who loses precious zzz’s the night before a big test could end up performing at a fourth grade level. So set a bedtime routine and keep to it every single night. Flashing images affect REM, so be sure to turn off the computer and television at least thirty minutes prior to bedtime. Take away the cell phones during nighttime hours—62% of kids admit they use it after the lights go out and their parents are clueless. Watch out for caffeinated sleep stealers like cold medications, chocolate, or energy-drinks.
5. Make family meals a must. A recent study by Columbia University showed that kids whose families eat regular, relaxed meals together are not only less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol and develop eating disorders-they are also more likely to achieve higher grades. Family dinners do not have to consist of gourmet, five-course meals. Serve simple, healthy meals, turn off the television and unplug the phone, and enjoy each other’s company. And if everyone in your family is on a different schedule and can’t make it to dinner- don’t worry! Consider instating an evening family snack time where everyone can review their day with each other before bedtime. The trick is to find what works best for you family and turn it into a routine.
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i just wanted to tell a little advise to parents with teen to leave us alone please