MALEbag! What You Really Want to Know from Men - @GalTime

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MALEbag! What You Really Want to Know from Men

Published: June 24, 2013

It’s been a while since we tackled your email questions & comments so here we go. And some of them were a little…uh….er….unique? Oh well. Our job as Your Straight Male Friends is to simply answer the questions as honest as we can. You’re allowed to ask or present any situation you can think of – no matter how oddly out of place it seems. Here goes….

Do you wish you were a girl/woman?

– Dayna, San Francisco CA

Dayna, what are you going for with this question? Hmmm…lemme see. Do I wish I was a girl or woman? Periods, sexism, making seventy cents to every dollar a man makes, being sexualized and objectified, being constantly compared to models and Hollywood starlets, thereby creating a distorted image of womanliness, wearing those EXTREMLY comfortable high-heeled shoes 10 hours a day, having some pervy guy groping me on a date – even though I’ve already told him that it aint happenin’—not tonight, not ever, pretending to be an airhead just to get some goober’s attention, getting a job for how I look as opposed to how capable a candidate I am…where do I sign up? Guys do NOT want to be women. Those that DO want to be women, usually find a way to BECOME a woman — and more power to ‘em. Meanwhile, the rest of us knuckle-draggers will keep watching the game, making fart jokes and enjoying porn….for the stories of course.

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In today’s society, do you still feel you have to be the “provider?”

-Pamela, Santa Barbara CA

The question is…do YOU still feel that your man, whoever he may be, has to “provide” for you? I mean, that’s such a loaded question. Look, every guy has the built in societal pressure, fair or not, of having to be the primary provider for his family or girlfriend or wife. Is that fair? In this day and age, probably not. We believe that an independent, smart, resourceful woman like yourself can and should be able to stand on her own two feet, and that no woman OR man should expect that ANYONE is going to take care of them. It’s 2013 not 1948. That said, if a woman seeks that in a relationship and she finds a guy who seeks the same traditional set up, then more power to them both. Whatever works. I will say this though: if you want that type of relationship – the traditional man-hunt/woman-cook set up, make that clear to your guy sooner rather than later.

Why do men love porn?

– Carolyn, Panama City FL

Carolyn, my dear…what’s not to love?

Why do men scratch themselves in front of us?

– Clarissa, New York, NY

Because you won’t do it for us.

Can men and women really be just friends? By that I mean can a man be friends with a woman without “constantly” thinking about having sex with her?

- Anonymous, Petaluma CA

Well, Anonymous, the answer is, “yes!” The myth is that men and women can’t really be “just friends.” I’m living proof that this one is just silly. I’d say more than half of my closest friends are women. Now, a few of them I’ve actually thought about seeing naked, but ultimately, as you get to know each other and get solidly locked into the ‘friend zone”, the prospect of hooking up with them is just downright weird.

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Also from Anonymous in Petaluma CA:

Do men really think of having sex with every woman they meet or look at? Is that the measuring stick on whether a woman is attractive or not, whether he would do her or not?

Anonymous, I do not believe we’ve addressed the first part of your question here before. NO, NO, NO, NO! NOT TRUE! Men do not want to hook up with every women they meet…just most of ‘em! KIDDING! Just not true, though. Listen, when guys are younger all those hormones are raging and it SEEMS as if we’re trying to take a roll in the hay with all the women we can. And truth be told, there were times in my younger years where I woke up wondering, “What in the hell was I THINKING!” But as a guy, you get past that nonsense and become more discerning.

As to whether or not a good measuring stick for attractiveness is whether or not the guy would do her….are you SERIOUS? Can you think of a BETTER measuring stick? Can you imagine some guy going, “Oh man, you look JUST like Halle Berry. I WOULD have sex with you because you’re soooo hot, but you don’t have a Harvard MBA…I’m gonna have to pass. I’m looking for more of a Janet Reno-type.”

Send those questions in! Find me on twitter: @smfmarcus

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