First dates can be dreaded and extremely awkward because when our nerves take over we naturally constrict our emotions. This is why first dates should not be used to assess if this is our “forever” person. Use any first date to see if you can simply enjoy an evening with this person in the NOW. To have a great first date we have to be free with ourselves as if we are just going to meet a friend. We are the most appealing when we are relaxed and happy.
Be On Time: There is not a worse way to start off a date then to show up late. It immediately shows a lack of interest or a lack of importance for the time to be spent. Show that you are responsible and interested. A sense of responsibility is sexy.
Be Open: If you can be open on a first date, the conversation will go a lot smoother. Of course, nerves are a part of any first date, but you do not want to let your nerves take over and either cause you talk too much or talk too little. There is nothing worse than to feel you have to carry a conversation for a quiet person or to not be any part of a conversation with a too talkative person. Balance is sexy.
Be Curious: You are with a new person, and obviously there is some interest. Ask light flirtatious questions and be interested in the answer. You do not want the date to come off as an interview. Lighten your mood and ask questions that are simple and easy to answer. Make sure you show your curiosity through your eye contact. Eye contact shows your own inner confidence and your interest in what is being shared with you.
Use Light Touch: Keep a safe distance physically, but use light touch to show that you are interested. Light touch allows you to feel and assess if there is chemistry. Smile, laugh and lightly touch your date on the shoulder, back, hand or leg and see how they respond and how you respond. When you lean into someone coyly it is a sexy way to get close to him/her without being over bearing. Chemistry will determine for you if the person is a coupon (not worth another date) or a ticket (worth more investment).
Keep the Conversation Positive. It is too easy to start telling your previous relationship horror stories. Really, there is plenty of time for that, just not the first date. The first date should be full of laughter, smiling, easy conversation and light flirtation.
These five things will make a first date easy and help to guide you if this is a person with whom you want to go on a second date. When you use these techniques it takes the pressure out of the first date. With the pressure gone you can really define the situation for yourself. If this person is simply a coupon then you had a nice night, lost nothing, and perhaps even gained a friend. If you feel this person could be a ticket then you will want to be sure to leave telling them you would like to see them again.
Little life message: Relax, be at peace, enjoy the ride.
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