By Dana Baardsen for KnowMore.TV
Do you know what makes a man attractive to a woman? To get the scoop on what really turns women on, we asked New York City relationship expert Irina Firstein, LCSW. She clued us in on five traits that women find most appealing in a man—plus tips on how to catch up if these don’t exactly describe you now:
A woman wants to feel safe under her man’s arm, rather than feeling like she’s the one holding him up. That’s one reason why women are often more attracted to men who are taller than them, not to mention healthy and physically fit, says Firstein.
Playing Catch Up: So what happens if you’re a little lower to the ground, and not so fit? Let the woman you are wooing know she is in good hands. Make a conscious effort to be healthy. Eat smart, don’t smoke, wake up a little earlier for a fitness walk or weight-training at the gym. Let your lady know that you want to be around to take care of her…always.
Messy, unorganized, and scatterbrained guys don’t make the cut. Firstein says women are drawn to men who are stable in the way they conduct and set up their life. That includes financial and job stability: Success and money really are turn ons.
Playing Catch Up: What do you do if you’re sloppy and broke? Clean up your act, brotha! Some individuals are messier than others, but no woman, no matter how attractive she may find you, is going to think it’s sexy to pick up your dirty laundry off of the floor. If you’re lacking in the job department, be proactive and set up plans for the future.
As macho as a woman wants her man to be, she also needs a companion who can really listen and be verbal. Women are more attracted to men who talk, hear, and respond.
Playing Catch Up: Not the Great Communicator? That’s ok, because what really matters is learning to be a good listener. Open up lines of communication by asking her questions. As she is responding, pay attention and follow up with a questions that shows you’re listening. When she starts talking about how she is upset because her best friend went to a movie with another girlfriend and they didn’t include her, don’t ask what movie her friends went to see— ask her more about how she’s feeling. Get it?
Get ready to hold open some doors, fellas, because chivalry is so not dead. Women are more attracted to men who are charming—and respectful.
Playing Catch Up: If being Prince Charming doesn’t come naturally, that’s ok. Even if it does, there’s a limit. If you go overboard with the chivalrous acts, some women may find this a turn-off. It can look like a show. Instead, make a genuine and courteous effort to put her first, and you can’t go wrong.
We’re not talking about your kissing style, but your passion for life. Women find it attractive when men have skills and hobbies and life passions, whether it be cooking, fixing, or playing a musical instrument.
Playing Catch Up: It’s time to unhook that magnetic connection between you and the sofa. Start enjoying yourself with a new enthusiasm—or one that you somehow let fall to the wayside. Even if doing so doesn’t help you find love right away, you’ll enjoy it, and guys who are more engaged are well, more attractive.
So guys, get healthier, get your life on track, practice the fine art of conversation, be considerate, and explore stuff you really like to do. You’ll not only be more attractive to the finer sex. You may even like yourself better, too.
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